Growing Up Journey P1

Life has been nothing but a roll coaster over the last year and half. I've left home, Tripoli(Libya), and moved to the states. Coming here was a dream for me for as far as I could remember. So many people thought that I won't make it, but I did. I had my goal steadily set in my mind and I knew that God won't let me down. Indeed he didn't. I was lucky enough to have a great support of my parents. They have stood by me and supported my decisions all the time. My "new" life has been nothing but a spectacular growing up journey.

The first year, when I lived in SD, was utterly spectacular. I saw, lived, and learned amazingly so many things. I don't regret a thing, the good and the bad. It was truly mesmerizing. I am so very grateful to God for all of it, especially for the people that I had the chance to meet and the great friends that I made :). I just have so much to write about that period of time, but what I am getting the flow of right now is more current. It is more about the "second chapter" that started when I moved up to Washington state - but I will definitely go back later on the blog to write about last year. After coming back from my short visit to home, I had experienced a storm of problems. I started my freshmen year in style! Those of you who know me personally know about that. I, for the first time, really felt homesick. It was very hard with everything was going around. I thought that I was ready and all set to go, and I was. However, for some reason, I had a weird gut feeling that left me feeling.. super weird(that's the simplest way to describe it! As I look back, it is amazing how this whole chapter started. My flight from Tripoli was delayed for 4 hours and that wasn't a good sign. Then the Germans imprisoned me in Frankfurt airport for almost a day. I was stumbling, in pain, from place to another. I never felt that exhausted in my life. Despite all the effort that I made to stay calm, I eventually sort of lost control over my feelings. It was too over whelming to me. It was like one of those times when you've been just putting all together for a long freaking time and then it just get to the point where enough is enough!I just kept on praying and reaching for God for even a slight glimmer of inner peace because I damn sure needed it at that time. All the stress that I had had experienced during my flight just made me more ..fragile to what I had experienced next.


When I started my first quarter, I faced a lot of misfortune. I was so torn and lost. Honestly, I had a sixth sense that I will be facing some difficulties, but not THAT bad. Thankfully, I had a real good adviser that helped me to go through all the academic stuff, like registering for class and giving me the right names to go and talk to. I was sort of going through a maze. I just kept on praying and praying. Holding on to faith seemed like the best thing to do. I believe that faith will always get me and you there. I tried to focus on the very present and not to drain so much on the past and what could have been done differently, or worry too about the future. I was so indecisive and torn about what I will do next. I know this sounds vague for those of you who don't know me personally and what exactly I am talking about. I don't want to go thoroughly about what exactly happened. But, I have to say that I had to do major thinking about many things.

I think that having strong Imaan(faith) is very important element of the process.
It is so easy sometime to know what we should do, or how we should behave, yet extremely hard to apply those right beliefs and ideas. I have to admit that I succumbed to my pain, for a while. However, with time and prayers, I started to feel better and better. Salat al Istikhara helped me in so many ways. I slowly watched my pain vanishing during that period.And, I also felt some peace about everything at that time.
Experiences like this one prove to me more and more that God does send messages.. in so many different ways. I just had to look close. Once you ignore the first sign, you'll get hit by the next one. Moreover, God does listen. He just gives time before answering back,sometimes. God takes time but never forgets.. .